


I'll Stay with You

by tunamayo



Category: Free!
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, flashback to M&H as kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:19:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9693536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tunamayo/pseuds/tunamayo
Summary: Haru senses that Makoto is worried about his first day of college, so he offers to spend the night to ease his fears.





	

Haru heard the small soft knock at the front door and knew immediately it was Makoto. At seven years old, his parents had only recently given him permission to climb the steep steps to Haru’s house without their help. He insisted that the doorbell sounded too intrusive, so he chose small soft knocks to indicate his arrival. 

Today’s knock had a lighthearted urgency to it – Makoto must have been excited about something. Haru remained seated at the kitchen table and waited for the sound of his mom’s footsteps and the opening of the door. He heard Makoto’s familiar cheerful greeting and his mom’s usual suggestion that he was welcome to use the doorbell.

Haru kept his eyes on the kitchen’s entryway, turning his head slightly in its direction. He tried to make out the faint conversation between Makoto and his mom, but all he could catch were bits of laughter. It seemed unlikely that he would share his good news with her before Haru, so he wondered what they were talking about. When he heard the two sets of footsteps approach the kitchen, Haru quickly returned his eyes to his plate and continued eating his forgotten apple slices. 

“Haru-chan! Guess what!” Makoto didn’t waste any time. 

It was such a silly phrase – guess what – as if he could speculate anything close out of the millions of possibilities that existed. What would Makoto do if he actually did start guessing? Haru looked up to meet his eyes, shimmering with excitement, and chose to respond with a crunchy bite of apple.

“My parents are taking me to Disneyland!”

Haru’s eyes widened. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but for someone who could get so easily excited about little things like sunny days and stray cats, a trip to Tokyo was bigger than anything he could have guessed. “That will be a lot of fun.” He smiled thinking about the pictures they had seen of the theme park. 

“And guess what else!” More guessing games. Makoto kept his hands on the table, lightly tapping his fingers, bouncing ever so slightly as he stood waiting, his body unable to contain all the energy. 

Haru felt his heart starting to beat more quickly in anticipation. He was almost afraid to ask, lest he arrived at the wrong conclusion, but it was written all over Makoto’s face. He seemed to be nodding in confirmation before Haru could even get out a nearly inaudible, “Me too?”

“That’s right!”

Haru blinked in disbelief. He felt his mom’s hand on his head as she reached over to place a small plate of apple slices on the table in front of Makoto. Haru forgot she was still in the kitchen, so captivated by his best friend’s enthusiasm that he didn’t even notice the sound of her slicing the fruit.

“What do you think, Haruka?” He looked up at her and smiled, blushing, his legs swinging back and forth under the table. 

Makoto pulled out the chair across from Haru, making it squeak like he always did. “We get to leave tomorrow morning. My parents just told me and said I could come tell you. It’s a good surprise, right?”

Haru nodded, though a little unsure. Surprises were … unexpected. Their parents had obviously planned this in advance, so why wait to tell them? He could hardly wrap his brain around the fact they’d be leaving tomorrow.

“It’ll be fun! We’ll stay in a hotel together, and eat ice cream together, and meet Mickey Mouse together, Haru-chan!”

Makoto looked at him with an excited but concerned expression, and Haru felt irritated that he let him see the worry in his face. Still, he had to admit his feelings of uncertainty quickly washed away; Makoto always seemed to have that effect on him. He smiled a little just as he noticed Makoto’s own smile start to fade.

“You’ll sit next to me on the airplane, won’t you?” 

Oh, that’s right. Makoto had never been on a plane before, so he was probably nervous.

Haru nodded and tried to offer some reassurance. “Planes, they’re not scary.” He didn’t really know what to say.

“But they’re so high. They’re so high they look like this.” Makoto pinched his two fingers together leaving only a small space between them. “What if we fall out of the sky?” He continued staring at Haru, his eyebrows going nearly vertical with worry.

“We won’t be on the plane for very long.”

“Can’t we take the train, then?”

“It’s too far for that. Planes are faster.” Makoto still looked unsure. “You’ll be able to see the the clouds much closer.” Makoto moved his eyes to the kitchen window, the summer sun shining brightly. “You’ll like it,” Haru punctuated his point.

Makoto suddenly went quiet and looked at his plate, the uneaten apples starting to brown. Haru could only think of one last thing to try. “Since we have to leave early in the morning, it would probably be best if I spent the night at your house tonight.”

Makoto finally looked up and smiled, confirming his approval with a bite of juicy apple. He looked out the window again, hoping the sun would be as warm and inviting tomorrow as it was at that moment.

***

“Haru?”

Haru snapped back to reality and took one last glance at the picture in his hands before returning it to the otherwise empty shelf above Makoto’s bed. It showed the two of them as kids standing on either side of a kneeling Mickey Mouse. They both looked happy wearing their mouse ear hats, Haru displaying an unexpectedly large grin.

Makoto emerged from the bathroom, working furiously to towel dry his hair that was still damp from the bath. He laughed when he noticed Haru looking at the photo. “Our trip to Disneyland, right before Ran and Ren were born. My parents wanted to take me on one last vacation as just the three of us. And they figured I’d want you to go, too. Do you remember it?”

He remembered the trip, of course, but also the night before – bringing Makoto the stuffed dolphin toy that he liked, staying up too late folding paper airplanes, lying in bed, whispering, careful not to let his parents know they were still awake. 

He remembered Makoto’s laugh, a sign he was finally at ease about everything, and how their conversation turned from airplanes to giggles about all the stuff they wanted to do at Disneyland. 

He remembered the way Makoto held on to the bottom of Haru’s shirt as much as he could from the time they left the house until the time they sat on the plane.

He remembered Makoto following his instructions to cover their ears during takeoff so he wouldn’t be scared, and the look of joy on his face as they flew over fluffy white clouds.

_I remember all of it, but do you, Makoto?_

Haru simply nodded, turning to face him. “I should probably get going. I’ll miss my train.”

More importantly, Makoto needed sleep. His first day of classes started tomorrow, and it was getting late. Haru picked up his jacket and started to walk toward the door, careful not to trip over any of the unpacked boxes throughout the small apartment. Of course Makoto had procrastinated getting all of his belongings unpacked; only the essentials had made it out. Haru turned to look at the picture once more, considering its importance to Makoto as something essential. 

“We probably have time for one more game,” Makoto suggested, Haru sensing a sudden worry in his voice. He had already delayed Haru’s departure by asking him to wait until after his bath. And before that it was the suggestion of a game after dinner, even though they had eaten at a restaurant closest to Haru’s building.

Haru looked at him, his eyes pleading for him to stay just a little longer, his brain probably searching for another excuse should Haru turn that one down. 

Haru sighed, exaggerated. “Forget it.” He heard a small questioning whine from Makoto. “It’s gotten too late now. I’ll just have to spend the night.”

Makoto smiled, relieved. “Thanks.” 

Haru followed him with his eyes as he pulled out an extra pair of pajamas from the dresser, immediately recognizing the yellow and orange shirt that had become as much his as it was Makoto’s. Haru blushed. “I just don’t want to have to hurry to my train. That’s all.”

“I’ll get your futon ready while you get changed.” Another essential item he had unpacked. “Oh, and there’s an extra toothbrush in the bathroom.”

Haru took the pajamas and went to the bathroom, wondering if the extra toothbrush was meant for him all along. He changed clothes, noticing the colors of the shirt had faded, though the memories they held were still vibrant in Haru’s mind. He thought back to when they were kids and Makoto would wear Haru’s clothes. But at some point the younger boy had outgrown him, and now Haru couldn’t help but smile at the way the fabric hung loosely on him.

He stepped out of the bathroom to see Makoto was already lying in bed. Haru thought back to that night before their trip. It was over ten years ago, and despite his size, Makoto still had the look of a small child who was worried about his first time flying. 

He glanced at the futon and then back to Makoto. “Oi, I don’t feel like sleeping on the floor, so move over.” He looked at the bed. It suddenly looked much smaller than Makoto’s old bed at home, but he recognized those green bedsheets and blankets as the exact same.

Makoto laughed. “We’ll never fit. We’re not kids anymore.” 

_No, we’re not,_ Haru thought. He was well aware of that, more so than he wanted to admit. He ignored Makoto’s protest and flicked the light switch. The apartment became surprisingly dark, so Haru stopped to open the curtains a bit to let in some light, a habit he had developed when they were kids and Makoto was scared of the dark. 

Haru picked up the pillow from the futon and surveyed his two options, finally settling on what he thought was the best idea. “You take the inside – I don’t want you rolling over and crushing me against the wall.”

“I wouldn’t! But what if I accidentally push you off the bed?”

“Just as long as you don’t fall on top of me again.”

Makoto laughed at the memory and moved over, lying on his side to reduce the space his broad shoulders took up, back nearly touching the wall behind him. 

Haru set down the pillow; it overlapped a little with Makoto’s, but it couldn’t be helped. Two adults clearly were not meant to sleep in this bed, but it was too late to take back his suggestion. He lay down next to Makoto on his side to face him, thinking back to their childhood, lying in bed together just like this, talking him through the worries swirling in his mind. Light from outside filtered in, providing enough illumination for them to see each other. 

Makoto's eyes were still open, but they were looking past Haru to the window beside his bed. “You can’t see the stars as well here as you can back home.”

“Too many buildings and streetlights.” 

“It’s like the Tokyo sky just swallowed them all up.”

“They’re still up there. Just hidden.”

Makoto returned his eyes to Haru’s. “I’m glad you’re here with me.”

Haru wasn’t sure which “here” Makoto meant – his bed? His apartment? Tokyo? Or something even bigger, something that was somehow both more vague and more meaningful. It didn’t matter, and he probably meant “here” in every sense of the word. _Me too,_ Haru wanted to reply but didn’t, too afraid that his feelings would become invisible like the stars. Instead, “Did you set your alarm?”

“Mm.”

“What time?”

“7. Are you going to leave when I do?”

Haru hadn’t really thought about it. “Whatever you want.”

“Haru?” Makoto asked quietly. 

He had many different ways of speaking his name. But this wasn’t the cheerful “Haru” that greeted him, nor was it the exasperated one when he was being stubborn. This was the “Haru” that he hated hearing, the soft whimper of his name, an indication that Makoto was afraid of an unrelenting something that Haru couldn’t protect him from. It felt like they were kids again and Makoto was worrying about ghosts in his room, something in the water, or planes falling from the sky. Storms would pass and night would turn to day, but something like this would stay in Makoto’s mind.

“What if I can’t do it?” he continued. So that’s what it was. That’s what all of this was. Makoto wasn’t just nervous about his first day at a new school in a new environment. He was having self-doubt about his abilities to succeed, and Haru’s heart ached at the reveal, disappointed he hadn’t realized it himself.

“You can. This is what you decided for yourself. This is what you want. So you’ll do your best.” He put every bit of sincerity that he could into his words and hoped they would reach him. They didn’t have far to travel, but they were carrying heavy feelings.

“You really think so?” A smile. “That makes me feel better.” Makoto understood. _Of course he did._ “Well, good night, Haru.”

He forced his eyes shut, closing them tightly in an unnatural way. Haru almost laughed – it was the same as when they were kids. But they weren’t kids. Makoto had said it himself. They were adults. And despite the familiarity of this situation, things were different now.

_We’re not kids anymore._ He repeated the thought as he lay next to Makoto, faces so close Haru swore he could feel the heat of Makoto’s breath against his own. He wondered when exactly he had gone and fallen in love with his best friend. But then, he supposed that something eternal didn’t have an origin. He had always loved Makoto; it’s just the kind of love grew up and changed in the same way they had.

From the time Makoto was born, Haru speculated he had loved him. He was too young to understand it, but it was a natural platonic love, familial in a way. They got a little older and reached an age where they could choose their own friends, and of course he chose Makoto. Being with Makoto meant comfort and security. It meant happiness. It meant wanting to protect him from harm. And those feelings stayed with him as they got older, and more importantly, Makoto felt them, too. 

And now, with this arbitrary classification of them becoming adults, Haru felt his love transform once more into something romantic, his pulse quickening with the sudden realization. He had always cared about Makoto, had always loved him, and now his head was catching up to what his heart always knew.

They were adults, so if Haru wanted to move his face a little closer to Makoto’s that was fine, and so he did, wiggling his entire body toward him just a bit until he was certain he could feel him breathing.

If Haru wanted to reach out his hand and stroke Makoto’s hair that was fine, too, and so he did, his breath becoming more erratic as he felt the coarse hair beneath his fingertips, nearly stopping when Makoto opened his eyes and spoke his name – that questioning “Haru” that was less of a _What are you doing?_ and more of a _This is unexpected._

And if Haru wanted to press his lips against Makoto’s that was fine, and so he did, carefully touching them as though they were made of the same glass as his heart, halting as soon as he felt contact because he didn’t want to break either of them.

But then he felt Makoto push back against him, forcing their lips tighter together. Haru slid his hand down to rest on Makoto’s jaw. He felt the prickly stubble of a man’s face, rubbed it to feel the friction. They separated just for a moment, just to get in a quick breath, breaking the surface of the ocean and coming up for air.

They returned underwater, kissing with more certainty this time, Haru wishing Makoto would initiate something more. _I started this,_ he thought. _It’s your turn now._

As though Makoto could sense what he was thinking, and Haru figured he probably could, Makoto opened his mouth, just a little. Haru did the same. He felt Makoto’s hand on his hip, accompanied by the feeling of his tongue suddenly moving past Haru’s lips into his mouth. Haru moved his own tongue in response, lightly touching it against the other. 

_We’re adults,_ he had to remind himself as he realized this was the first kiss for both of them. He thought it felt strange, the slickness, the heat, the minty taste of toothpaste, but more than anything it felt passionate and real and every time their tongues met, he swore he was delving deeper and deeper inside Makoto.

Finally the two parted, Makoto placing a few last trailing kisses on Haru’s chin leading down his neck. Haru hoped he hadn’t heard the small moan that somehow managed to escape his mouth in a crude betrayal. Their breathing was rough, faces hot, embarrassed yet invigorated.

Haru removed his hand from Makoto and turned over, facing away from him. “Go to sleep.”

A small pause and then laughter. “I can’t sleep now!”

Haru smiled, knowing exactly how he felt. “I should just go home, then,” he joked, and tossed back the covers while making no effort to actually get out of bed.

Makoto moved closer and threw his arm around Haru, holding him close against his body. “I’m not going to let go.”

“I won’t ask you to,” Haru replied. _Not again. Not ever again,_ he thought, as visions from that night showed up unwanted in his mind, the night when Makoto first told him he was moving away to Tokyo and Haru’s world felt like it was ending.

But somehow they had ended up here together. 

“You know,” Haru started, “when we were kids, I thought of you as a dandelion.”

“You thought I was a weed?!”

Haru laughed at the misinterpretation. “No, I mean because dandelions are stronger than they seem. It’s the same as you. You’re resilient.” He turned around in Makoto’s arms to face him. 

Makoto pressed his lips to Haru’s forehead. “Can’t I at least be a flower?”

“You’re missing the point.”

“Or a tree, even…”

Haru laughed again and put his arm over Makoto, lightly rubbing his back, warm face radiating heat against Makoto’s chest, bodies pressed together, legs entangled.

“Will you wake up with me in the morning?”

Haru nodded. He thought about all the time he’d be spending in Makoto’s arms, about falling asleep next to him, about waking up together. He thought about the love they had for each other, without even having to say the words, just feeling it unconditionally and eternally. And he thought this small bed could fit both of them just fine, no matter how much they grew or changed, because they could make anything work as long as they were together.


End file.
